Sacked chimney sweep pumps boss full of mayonnaise

Yes you can sit back (not too far as it is bad posture) and enjoy more whimsical musings, bons mots and quixotic marginalia from London’s favourite diary written by a fat man in his middle thirties whose capacity for genuine emotion has long since been eroded by bitter circumstance and replaced with a fervid lust for Kettle Chips.

Well it was a super weekend, it was sunshine and Gas Mark 7 outside, so I did lots of bikling through sun-dappled woods seeing butterflies, gardening with my friend Jane, resting in simple communion with Nature by the banks of a crystal stream, and eating four times my own weight in barbecue chicken! I also made a bonfire which is nice in an atavistic way, if I was teleported back to prehistorick times I would be jolly useful in terms of lighting fires, butchering small animals such as a Thompson’s gazelle, and knowing how to mine and smelt metals. Actually not that last one. Or the gazelle.

Then on Monday I had a nice evening out and had quite a few glasses of quite a few drinks, and forgot to eat curry. That concludes today’s keithlard news, and now the weather!

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