Más viñetas

Project, final version… final final draft… final final final… this is it… definitely the one… yes… finished project… project version 3… do not delete… the last… really the last… project version 5…

They told me at the shop he was a labrador, but by the time I realised, I’d already got fond of the little fellow!”

We did everything we could, but the short circuit was just too severe. We’ve had to disconnect your husband.”

After bringing balance to the Force and helping return peace to the Galaxy, Luke Skywalker decided to try his luck in the lucrative laser fat-removal business.

There are two kinds of people…

Where ‘mineral water’ really comes from

Forces for evil: baby seal-killers… traffickers in human organs… those who promise things and don’t deliver… people who play the Christmas music in supermarkets.

Frodo visits a pawnshop and puts all of Middle-Earth in danger.

Bad Idea

Food fight!”

Viñetas Alberto Montt

jcreed found these great, Larsonesque cartoons by Alberto Montt. I thought it would be fun to translate some, so here is my attempt:

Trust me, Prudencio. Since I discovered the missionary position, it’s changed my life.”

Flight Simulator

I’m telling you this as a friend, Matías. Ever since you got that implant, it’s turning you into someone I don’t like.”

Don’t argue with me, boy! If you don’t do better in English, you’ll never understand 99% of the advertising in this country!”

Lamb again? Can’t someone ask these people to sacrifice a cow once in a while?”

Yes, Roberta, we do have some things in common, but it’s not enough. Can’t you see that?”

Boredom… Ebola… Nuclear explosion… Sniper… Cancer… Earthquake… Animal attack… Slipping in the bath… Air disaster… Spin again… Car crash…

What do you say we go back to my place and you give my tape a damned good rewinding?”

I might have expected this from her. But you, Max? My best friend?”

keithlard, Pope of Barbecue Town

I had a delicious barbecue with Jane and I invented a special new spicy barbecue dish called Steaks Finchley! It is some posh steaks marinaded in my personalised masala sauce with fresh ground roasted whole spices including cardamoms, fenugreek, cumin, cloves, dried chillis, black pepper and fiery North African harissa chilli paste! It is fun to make as it involves roasting and pounding up lots of spices while listening to jazz music.

Then you grill it a bit and serve in some pitta breads lightly buttered with ghee and dribble lemon juice all over it. Yum! I am probably Britain’s second most barbecue-obsessed man so I am always really excited to have a barbecue. As usual though there was way too much food and I ended up eating a bizarre combination of breakfast foods the next day including spicy chicken wings, delicately grilled sossidges marinaded in my special personalised masala sauce of crushed black pepper and sea salt, groundnut oil and dusted with thyme and rosemary, and crocodile sandwidges. The last bit is made up obviously as it was actually bacon, but I was experiminting with pretending to eat crocodile sandwidges.

Jane and Andrew were grand company and we lazed around in the garden until X o’clock enjoying the gentle crackling of a real fire, as we gradually burned the fence.

In other news, I went out grooving on Friday with Matt and a glamorous mystery companion, to one of London’s top disco bars! I did not really do too much actual grooving, although when called upon I do, like Jeeves, swing a dashed efficient shoe. But it was a warm, balmy summer e’en, ripe with the blush of the westering Sun (good writing) so we sat outside drinking quite a few glasses of drinks. I had Cosmopolitans as I was trying to impress a lot of good looking women there with my sauve sophistercation and general flânerie, except when I accidentally quaffed some all over myself. “Ha ha,” I laughed languidly, flicking a speck of cocktail from my otherwise immaculate lace cuffs.

I think I did quite well impressing London’s trendy youngsters with my street cred and hip-hop sensibilities, except when I slightly ruined it by reading Anne Brontë’s The Tenant of Wildfell Hall. In my defence it was quite an exciting bit. On the night bus home there was an American woman abusing her boyfriend. “You’re a f****** c*** Ben, and your friends are all f****** c***s too, you c***. Why don’t you just f*** yours*** you c***-******* ***** shit*** ***-hole? Oh thank you very much,” this last to an old lady making room for her to sit down.