That went to a weird place

Gabe and Tycho’s expressions in the last panel make me laugh.

Hoot! Hoot!

The following is typed by Montmorency as is phoning in his copy via modern string telephone.

Well I got Jane an intresting present yesterday as I will reveal what it is later, but it is a special surprise. I did get a few funny looks as I was carrying it around at Cornish Market World though. If you do not know it is a special world in Cornwall where you have to pass through a dread portal, and enter a magickal fairyland of inexpensive toot!

So today I went to Trago Mills, which is also magickal, as it is massive and like Hogwarts Castle the stairs and departmints seem to keep rearranging themselves so you get lost. I bought the following, which is roughly typical of the type of things they have at Trago:

  • Paddling pool
  • Wind-up lemon

It is an oven timer really. But I have always wanted a lemon that you can twist it and it makes a buzzing noise after a pre-determined number of minutes has elapsed. I am thinking that maybe Jane will let me bring the paddling pool round to her garden when the weather is nice and we can sit in it wearing our finest beachwear and relaxing with a posh cocktail! And playing with a wind-up lemon.”

Montmorency the Clockwork Owl here

Hello I am standing in for keithlard today who is on holiday in historick Cornwall. I know there is a lot of you that likes to follow his adventures so here is an importint news update. It is very rainy in historick Cornwall today!

Keithlard went wandering around St Austell, Mevagissey, Fowey and Cornish Market World, getting wet and trying on clothes that did not fit because he is overweight. He says he does not mind though as he is getting a little bit thinner all the time due to some bikling, and taking only tiny, tiny bites of food at a time.

Also, Keithlard’s Theory of Slimming which says that food does not count if you eat it late at night. Or if you are drunk.

It's Friday!

Hello it is keithlard here with five exciting suggestions for celebrating Friday!

  1. Wear a ludicrous promotional chicken costume to work. Refuse to communicate other than by shrieking ‘Cluck, cluck!’ and pecking people with your enormous rubber beak. Occasionally produce eggs from a concealed pocket in your costume and deposit them in unlikely places.
  2. Change into a freakish mutant with super powers eg the man that catches fire from the Fantastic Four. Amaze your friends and colleagues by suddenly catching on fire during important meetings. This will also be convenient for delightful summer barbecues.
  3. Purloin office supplies and, working unobserved by night, use them to construct a giant clockwork owl with your own face, that can sit at your desk and cover for you during busy lunch hours. The owl could be named Montmorency.
  4. Develop the eldritch ability to control weather, and annoy your co-workers by creating small localised thunderstorms and showers near their desks. Escape the tedium of pointless conference calls by damaging the phone system with lightning.
  5. Using an ordinary high-energy particle supercollider, create a mini black hole and bring it to work with you in a Tupperware box. Pretend it is your lunch. A black hole makes an excellent place to keep your keys, wallet and mobile phone, as they cannot get lost due to the enormous gravitational field.

Hem hem

Well it was good yesterday as we had a producktive day at work, played some games and then went to the pub. Also, I thought I would have to bikle home in the rain, but luckily it stopped while I was in the pub. Alternatively I drank so many drinks that I lost the ability to perceive rain!

That’s happened before.