A timely series on 43Folders about how to get rid of clutter from your life and premises, inspired by

War on Clutter

Historically, my “housecleaning” has almost always consisted of… illusory shuffling — just getting things out of sight with only minimal discarding… The truth is that this is like covering your tumor with a bandage, and without thoughtful paring-down, all those crates and boxes and storage spaces do nothing to improve the basic problem. In fact, in my own experience, it makes the matter ten times worse, since you generate an entire underworld of physical goods that mean nothing to you. Your home or office becomes little more than a costly bucket for dead and useless crap.”

I am the king of this as my tiny flat is full of some quite extraordinary junk. Somewhere in there is a vintage Packard sedan, with a headless tailor’s dummy on the back seat and a bell jar containing the preserved severed head of one of my former clients.

I need a clear out.

keithlard and Miss Bunn's mini adventure

We had a grand day wandering hither, thither and whither all around this fair city, and had some ice creams, Keithlard got scared by some living statues (he does not like them), had posh drinks and went on a boat! It does not get any better than that really.

St Paul’s obviously which is staggeringly beautiful, and almost worth having most of London accidentally burnt down by a drunk baker. The weather looked a bit iffy at first but it soon turned into a lovely sunny day!

Miss Bunn had a posh multi coloured drink! Keithlard drank some too and pronounced it delicious!

A nice building we saw. I do not know what it is so if you do, write in. You could win a trip for two to premier South-West holiday destination Cricket St. Thomas, near Chard! (You will not though.) Edit: I have discovered it is Unilever House thanks to my own investergatory powers (© Keithlard Investergations, Ltd.)

An intresting drink that Keithlard had. I like that it has ‘DRINK’ written on the side of it in case you get confused or forgetful.

I like this sinister door, in a spooky old alleyway near some dungeons.

A boat yesterday (library pictures). This is not the one we went on which is a super fast catamaran made of NASA space materials. It was a bit confusing as first of all we were ordered off Bankside Pier by some cross policemen, then allowed back on again, then ordered on to the boat, then ordered off it again, then ordered back on it again. This is an anti-terrorist measure to confuse Al-Qaeda people and send them to Woolwich by mistake.

We travelled to historick maritime Greenwich on our own personal space boat and looked at some intresting mad shops. This is something I found in one of them which might be quite useful in fact.

More silly things that we giggled over in shops. Then we went to a really nice pub after looking all around for one that had a cigarette garden. It is the type of place that my hero Robert Hooke might have popped into for a refreshing pint after a hard day’s science experiminting, except he probably would not have played on the Fantasy Golf machine.

And so home after quite a few glasses of quite a few drinks, via London’s Canary Wharf. This is all done with the new little wizzo camera (Coolpix 7900) courtesy of Mike. It is a great bit of kit and extra tiny, also if you are wobbling a bit it lights up with a flashing ‘pint of beer’ symbol to indicate that you have drunk too much Hoegaarden to take good pictures. It was a magic day out though so huzzah!

What year is this? Who's the President?

Form an orderly queue girls as I am a time traveller like sexy David Tennant out of TV’s ‘Dr Who’ (or in Bill Bailey’s Belgian jazz version, ‘Docteur Qui’). Obviously I am now in the future as I’ve gone to bed and woken up in a non-smoking Britain! The Prime Minister is different too!

It is like ‘The Day of the Triffids’ in reverse, except that the Triffids would only attack you for smoking. Also, I have a Facebook like young people do, I do not know how to work it though so it looks a bit blank at the moment.

So all in all it is quite exciting, I have not been outside yet to see if people are all wearing shiny suits and eating space food out of tubes. And going to work on personal jet-packs. I expeckt they are though.

Leavin' Los Lobos

You realise this may be basically the most important Google video of all time.

It is just a man sitting in a room playing the complete guitar works of Heitor Villa-Lobos. If you do not know he was a slightly nuts Brazilian that wrote the most vivid and exciting guitar music, anyone that plays the classical type guitar knows all about Villa-Lobos and probably plays his Preludes or Studies. I can play a bit of one of them, not very well, except I get a bit mixed up in the middle and do not remember it.

The bloke that plays in this video is really good although I do not know who he is. (It does not matter so do not write in.)

Kettles are saaaaad

Primitivepeople unfortunately hurt his foot, for which much sympathy, but he did manage to bring happiness to others by posting hilarious Alan Partridge clips. So now I have been spending the day watching more such clips:

I just got through reading Sharkey Ward’s excellent book Sea Harrier over the Falklands, which is jolly intresting about naval air combat operations, but many of the anecdotes in the book seem to end, like Alan Partridge’s Bouncing Back, with the words “Needless to say, I had the last laugh.”