The space between things

Well I have been dusting off the old guitar. Quite a lot of dust came out of the ceiling as well due to me getting lyverbyrd’s effects processor to work. It needed some batteries (you would never know I am tecknical).

This is a cheerful little song I invented especially for k.s. who gave me the title! Sorry I did not have time to make an accompanying video.

Sacked chimney sweep pumps boss full of mayonnaise

Yes you can sit back (not too far as it is bad posture) and enjoy more whimsical musings, bons mots and quixotic marginalia from London’s favourite diary written by a fat man in his middle thirties whose capacity for genuine emotion has long since been eroded by bitter circumstance and replaced with a fervid lust for Kettle Chips.

Well it was a super weekend, it was sunshine and Gas Mark 7 outside, so I did lots of bikling through sun-dappled woods seeing butterflies, gardening with my friend Jane, resting in simple communion with Nature by the banks of a crystal stream, and eating four times my own weight in barbecue chicken! I also made a bonfire which is nice in an atavistic way, if I was teleported back to prehistorick times I would be jolly useful in terms of lighting fires, butchering small animals such as a Thompson’s gazelle, and knowing how to mine and smelt metals. Actually not that last one. Or the gazelle.

Then on Monday I had a nice evening out and had quite a few glasses of quite a few drinks, and forgot to eat curry. That concludes today’s keithlard news, and now the weather!

Some peculiar information

I arose betimes and visited the municipal recycling centre, which used to be called the council tip before we lived in an era of branding, metrics and leveraging synergy to monetise stakeholder value. Then in the intrests of charging the battery I accidentally drove to St Albans and back really fast in my Audi, strickly speaking I should only have been out for twenty minutes, but it turned into about two hours by mistake. This is what happens when you have an Audi.

It was a super sunny day so I went out bikesploring after that, I saw the Hendon Weir heron again but this time in flight! It was flapping lazily like a pterodacktyl. NB this is baseless speculation as I have not actually seen a pterodacktyl, using the power of the imagination I imagine it would look exactly like a heron though.

I went to the Welsh Harp and thoughtfully took my camera, I got some intresting pictures of swans, coots, and also a flying heron! So there will be some photergraphic evidence soon and you can be the jury about whether it looks like a pterodacktyl or not.

It was glorious sunshine sparkling on the water and trees and all Nature held her breath like a drop of crystal dew glimmering on the spider web of morning (good writing). (Memo to self this is opening page of novel.) I bikled up to Golders Hill Park and then back to London’s exclusive Finchley for some refreshing drinks at the Dignity. I got into a very intresting conversation with a drunk man, about Dostoevsky! That is the type of thing that only happens at the Dignity. It is that kind of pub.

I got no sense of eggs!

Achewood frequently mirrors my own situation.

The adventures of Baron Keithlard

Well it has been a grand few days, I went bikling with Jane yesterday and we saw a grey heron at Hendon Weir. I thought it was the same one I normally see at Brent Park, except we went to Brent Park and saw another one! So that is two herons.

Jane was great as she came all the way to Brent Cross with me, via the sinister witch’s cottage, and we had delicious toasted paninis and coffee. I bought an unnecessarily massive Leatherman knife in Blacks and Jane got a hat!

On the way home we saw a wagtail and a meadow pipit. I was out bikling today and I saw a kingfisher by Henrietta’s Pond! So in bird terms it was a wizzo weekend. In other news, we saw the Simpsons movie. I laughed immoderately throughout, it was jolly lucky that some popcorn did not become lodged in my trachea due to laughing while eating popcorn at the same time.