More what you missed on Twitter

Modern lifestyle busy. No time. Communication reduced to 140-character blipverts. Follow @keithlard on Twitter.

  • Fed up with reading the news as it is always gloom, misery and disaster. Is there a newspaper featuring bunnies? Or just a big smiley face.”
  • So, should I get a Lotus Elan S2 Turbo convertible in British Racing Green, or a girlfriend? I’ve a feeling it’s one or the other”
  • The Avalanches are like the cheerful Portishead”
  • Worried, had the hottest south indian curry and it seemed mild. What am I becoming.”
  • Everyone at the party looked a bit blank when I talked about click-through ratios, PPC and AdSense. One person thought I said ‘absinthe’”
  • Invented a new game I like to call ‘Belgian Roulette’!”
  • Each person takes it in turn to choose a beer, and then everyone drinks one of those beers. Like an alcoholic book group.”
  • How disappointing was “Jaguar Adventure”. Man I thought he was going on an adventure with a Jaguar car. Instead it is about some animals.”
  • It would be pretty awesome if I was a top weapons designer and international playboy, with a hott redhead assistant. And could fly”
  • Working on Cribbage Corner a bit more. Man that is an obsessive compendium of information about a very obscure card game.”
  • Fajitas: marinade cubed meat in tomato passata, black pepper and chilli powder. Cook, add stir fried sweet peppers and serve in tortillas”
  • The nice man in Kris Wines gave us free Duvel glasses! It is London’s best beer shop. Not just because of that.
  • Bush: Iraq words like “bring ‘em on” and “dead or alive” may have misled people to think I’m not a man of peace.
  • Planet keithlard is dying. Too hot to do anything but stay in a darkened room listening to M83. Fab new album”
  • Ate too many lambs, washed down with tasty McEwan’s Champion. It is traditional barbecue overeating, so do not offer me a waffer-thin mint”
  • British summer algorithm: IF weather = “sunny” THEN GOTO barbecue ELSE complain(“Can you believe this terrible weather?”) END
  • Wearing shorts, a MacBook in a laptop rucksack, and a black T-shirt proclaiming my affiliation to a cult web comic. Geek, much?”
  • Risotto: fry mushrooms, leek, garlic, beef, herbs, in olive oil, stir in arborio rice, gradually add white wine & chicken stock as absorbed”
  • When buying DVD box sets, be sure not to mix up ‘The Complete Jericho’ with ‘The Complete Jethro’”
  • Finished guardian xword in 10 mins. PERSONAL LIFE BEST. Celebrating with a beer and a Lost.”
  • Pairing socks. I quite like it actually. I am creating tiny pockets of negative sock entropy.”
  • Hottest chicks off of TV’s ‘The Wire’. Russell. Pearlman. Greggs. Man I ain’t mind gettin’ me some hott police right now. Knowm sayn.”
  • Playing with R. I have done a least squares regression! And a posh graph. It is more fun than Eurovision, though I do not know what that is”
  • New toaster! A basic one since I do not need the advanced functions such as… you know… making… NINJA toast. (You can get those.)”
  • The nice thing about chatting up Austrian girls is they do not know when you have accidentally compared them to a Terminator.”
  • Affiliating and monetising! That is an exaggeration in fact as I have not made any actual monety up to this point. I have typed a lot though”
  • Scrambled eggs: fry chopped chorizo and black pepper in smoking hot butter, add whisked eggs, stir lightly until almost set, serve on toast”
  • Me: Patrick O’Brian’s “Desolation Island”. Tube neighbour: the Qur’an. Everyone else: Metro.”
  • Wearing a stripey black & yellow Cornish rugby top. I look like a massive friendly bee! That eats crisps.”
  • Due to a chain of circumstances I don’t feel the need to go into, I now have lavender scented pants!”
  • ‘Ostracise’: the new fitness craze that’s sweeping Britain. It is basically like dancercise, or boxercise, only with an ostrich.”

0 comments on More what you missed on Twitter

    Post new comment

    The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
    This question is for testing whether you are a human visitor and to prevent automated spam submissions.
    By submitting this form, you accept the Mollom privacy policy.