photos

Picture postcards from scenic Cornwall

No, not a scary Easter Island statue like you thought, but just a mad sculpture at Cornwall’s maddest shop, Trago Mills. It is like Bluewater for country folk, you can buy carpets, ironmongery and sheep dip under one unexpectedly castellated roof. I like going there and buying unusual and bonkers things, like elasticated lederhosen, or a miniature saxophone for weasels.

A weird house! In Lostwithiel, probably Cornwall’s most exciting small rainy town composed largely of antique shops. And that is up against some stiff competition.

They even have a sign! Don’t sound so pleased about it!

This is a nanshunt bridge in the heart of sleepy, antiques-obsessed Lostwithiel, and judging by the rusty sign, even single traffic is not exactly intensive. In fact when I tried to cross the bridge, the way was barred by an angry troll. I had to pacify it with some beef flavour Hula Hoops, which is annoying as I like them.

I know it is perfectly sensible really, but this is just the type of book which you only find at Trago. Or if you go to a horse library.

More of the world’s weirdest books, not available in any shops! Except Trago. I am a bit worried about the headless dog owner, I think it is just the power of optical illusion though.

This is in the sleepy and equally antiques obsessed village of Lerryn, you can see what kind of desperation the locals have got into for entertainmint. I do not approve of racing seagulls in fact as it is a form of abuse.

Hello from mystick Cornwall

Hey hey! I am on holiday with Susan, and I am relaxing on the train while watching the Simpsons and composing my golden thoughts for Keith Lard’s Diary.


Picture of me taken by Susan!

It is amazing how quickly I have made the transition to smug Mac user. I am like Robert Webb out of those “Mac versus PC” adverts, only better looking obviously. The machine is just a joy to use and I have a sneaking suspicion it is smarter than I am. (It is. - Susan) I am worried that it might actually be editing my journal entries while I am distracted by crisps.

I have also become like a wi-fi vampire, roaming London to feed on the wireless internet of the living. Last night in the pub Matt and I were chatting away to Steve on Adium. It was like he was actually there, only in text form. I did not have to buy him any beer either as I just took a picture of a pint with the iSight camera and dragged it into the chat window. Cheap round!

So I am off to the miffic land of Cornwall, where romance and heroic legend mingle with delicious pasties. It is bad news for my weight loss campaign as in a week’s time I will actually look like a pasty. I think I am already starting to develop a knobbly ridge of crimped pastry down my spine.

The world according to keithlard

A jackdaw’s treasury of doodads, nuggets, trinkets and gewgaws. Or more prosaickally it is some things I saw and took pictures of with my electric camera.


I wonder if any rubber suited frogmen saw this sign and got mixed up about where they were supposed to go. I expect they did not. But it would have been comical if they did.

I am frightened of children as it is, but these mannequins were Doctor Who scary.

Book your places now!

Everyone’s a winner when you learn more about road safety.” This is like a joke board game from The Simpsons, that the Flandererses might play. But it is terrifyingly real. According to the box it is as exciting for children as for adults, which I have no trouble believing.

Just don’t even think about it.

A cheerful pie! It seems almost a shame to eat it.

Almost.

Birthday card for k.s.

You and your goo better turn around, buddy. There’s nothing for you here.