photos

keithlard's woodland adventure

It was super sunshine today so I went out investergating. I investergated some local robins! Also I walked all along the river and saw some magpies, blue tits, coots, moorhens, a swallow, some mallards and herring gulls, and a Mrs Blackbird. It does not get any better than that I am thinking.

The weekend is one of the best times to notice birds, as during the week they are all at school obviously.

It was a grand day for being out and about and sitting and looking at things, and looking and thinking, and sitting and looking. In the evening it was a beautiful orange sky in the west and pink in the east, the belt of Venus. In between all shades of blue, and a super crescent moon!

Photo buffet

It is like a table laid out with delicious photos. Click on any of them to take a bigger bite. In real life do not eat photos, as they contain chemickals.

keithlard's pictures of the year

This is your captain keithlard speaking, thank you for flying Air Lard this year, and we hope you enjoyed the flight. The local time in Finchley is 20:47, and if you look straight ahead you will see keithlard’s top ten photos from this year, chosen by an independent panel of keithlard. Please fasten your seatbelts and refrain from smoking as we enjoy these gourmet photergraphs, followed by a selection of cheeses. This is my most favourited picture on Flickr.

No introduction needed to this building.

Two lovely Canada geese, taken at the Welsh Harp reservoir in London’s exclusive North London.

The car is not really moving at a zillion miles an hour, that is the power of the long exposure.

The low resolution and noisy sensor of my little phone camera works best with strong forms and bold colours. This is one of my favourite pictures that I have taken with it.

I took a lot of photos of skyscrapers this year. This is a nice one, Tower 42 in the City of London.

Part of my Fridge Poetry project.

Best candid of the year, taken at Camden Town station. If you are one of the passionate couple depickted here, contact me to win five pounds.

My most viewed picture on Flickr, taken before the smoking ban obviously. Now even just thinking about smoking is punishable by death, squads of armed tobacco police are roaming the streets to hunt down offenders.

The Lloyd’s Building, reflected in the Willis Building. I like this one, especially as the glorious curved sweep of glass makes the picture look like a fisheye distortion.

Well I hope you enjoyed those, I had a lot of fun taking them. I am looking forward to doing lots of photergraphy next year, I have got some new gadgets to try out, eg a circular polariser. And it really is a beautiful world. See you there in 2008!

Basically narcissistic pictures of me

I shoot my gun and Java be dancin’!

Picture postcards from scenic Cornwall

No, not a scary Easter Island statue like you thought, but just a mad sculpture at Cornwall’s maddest shop, Trago Mills. It is like Bluewater for country folk, you can buy carpets, ironmongery and sheep dip under one unexpectedly castellated roof. I like going there and buying unusual and bonkers things, like elasticated lederhosen, or a miniature saxophone for weasels.

A weird house! In Lostwithiel, probably Cornwall’s most exciting small rainy town composed largely of antique shops. And that is up against some stiff competition.

They even have a sign! Don’t sound so pleased about it!

This is a nanshunt bridge in the heart of sleepy, antiques-obsessed Lostwithiel, and judging by the rusty sign, even single traffic is not exactly intensive. In fact when I tried to cross the bridge, the way was barred by an angry troll. I had to pacify it with some beef flavour Hula Hoops, which is annoying as I like them.

I know it is perfectly sensible really, but this is just the type of book which you only find at Trago. Or if you go to a horse library.

More of the world’s weirdest books, not available in any shops! Except Trago. I am a bit worried about the headless dog owner, I think it is just the power of optical illusion though.

This is in the sleepy and equally antiques obsessed village of Lerryn, you can see what kind of desperation the locals have got into for entertainmint. I do not approve of racing seagulls in fact as it is a form of abuse.

Hello from mystick Cornwall

Hey hey! I am on holiday with Susan, and I am relaxing on the train while watching the Simpsons and composing my golden thoughts for Keith Lard’s Diary.


Picture of me taken by Susan!

It is amazing how quickly I have made the transition to smug Mac user. I am like Robert Webb out of those “Mac versus PC” adverts, only better looking obviously. The machine is just a joy to use and I have a sneaking suspicion it is smarter than I am. (It is. - Susan) I am worried that it might actually be editing my journal entries while I am distracted by crisps.

I have also become like a wi-fi vampire, roaming London to feed on the wireless internet of the living. Last night in the pub Matt and I were chatting away to Steve on Adium. It was like he was actually there, only in text form. I did not have to buy him any beer either as I just took a picture of a pint with the iSight camera and dragged it into the chat window. Cheap round!

So I am off to the miffic land of Cornwall, where romance and heroic legend mingle with delicious pasties. It is bad news for my weight loss campaign as in a week’s time I will actually look like a pasty. I think I am already starting to develop a knobbly ridge of crimped pastry down my spine.

The world according to keithlard

A jackdaw’s treasury of doodads, nuggets, trinkets and gewgaws. Or more prosaickally it is some things I saw and took pictures of with my electric camera.


I wonder if any rubber suited frogmen saw this sign and got mixed up about where they were supposed to go. I expect they did not. But it would have been comical if they did.

I am frightened of children as it is, but these mannequins were Doctor Who scary.

Book your places now!

Everyone’s a winner when you learn more about road safety.” This is like a joke board game from The Simpsons, that the Flandererses might play. But it is terrifyingly real. According to the box it is as exciting for children as for adults, which I have no trouble believing.

Just don’t even think about it.

A cheerful pie! It seems almost a shame to eat it.

Almost.

Birthday card for k.s.

You and your goo better turn around, buddy. There’s nothing for you here.

Cheeky little gherkin

It is one of the most instantly recognisable buildings in Europe, but no-one knows its name.

(It is called 30 St Mary Axe.)

The Willis Building

It looks like I have a wide angle lens, but I cannot afford one, unless you send money to the address on your screens now. I do not though, it is the power of suggestion. Norman Foster’s beautiful curved fairground mirror, the Willis Building, reflects the Lloyd’s Building across Lime Street.

Ooh! A cheeky little gherkin is peeping out from there. That is where we are off to next in fact, courtesy of keithlard’s inquisitive lens.

Minster Court

This is Minster Court which is an amazing bizarre pastiche-Gothic wedding cake fantasy in the City, just near the Tower of London. It looks something like if King’s College Chapel mated with a porcupine on top of the Munsters’ house, or the Fortress of Ultimate Darkness out of Time Bandits. While it was drunk.

I have been mostly posting pictures to Flickr lately, so if you are a member of my trusted inner circle of hooded acolytes you should investergate there. If you are a normal person do not.