Passport photo

The rules say you are not allowed to smile. So this is my official passport face.

I have an interesting relationship with my face. I mean I do not know whether it is actually good looking or not, but in several senses it does not really matter. It is the one I have, so there’s no changing it anyway. It is not like press-on faceplates for cell phones, although that would be pretty interesting. Maybe I could have a red shiny face in the winter, and it could be a sleek, futuristic brushed aluminium in the summer months.

Quite literally eat off my face

O vanity, vanity, it’s more pictures of me. Well I am simply responding to pressure from Mariposa and hundreds of other girls. The tragedy of the situation is that I do not really look like this at all, I am three midgets standing on each other’s shoulders inside a big coat, with an unconvincing rubber head.