architecture

More interesting archie-tecture

City Tower. I did not get chased off by security guards this time because I have perfeckted the art of guerilla photergraphy. What you do is get an escaped guerilla from the circus and use it to distract the security people while you take photergraphs.

I do not remember which building this is on Chiswell Street, my notes are a bit shaky and illegible due to being continually chased by security guards. Here is a Google Earth placemark though in case you are fanatically obsessed like me. Do not admire or try to imitate me, I know I need help.

One Coleman Street

More weird reflecktions in One Coleman Street.

Moody, red-filtered sky in the windows of The Helicon, One South Place.

Good show, DM!

A sinister distorted reflecktion in a bus I saw. Or is it just normal and it is me that is a warped freak from another dimension. If so text WARPED FREAK to the number on your screens now and you could win an exclusive dinner for two at the Bengal Lancer curry restaurant in Kentish Town (you will not though).

Glimpse of Norman Foster’s amazing massive phallus. Unusually it has a restaurant at the top, which is more than most people can claim.

Circus Place at Finsbury Circus, which is a lovely building or buildings, but I do not know about it. I will have to investergate further and write a small monograph on the subject.

A mysterious and occult chimney sticking out in Circus Place, I presume it must be a venterlation shaft for the Tube which runs underneath between Moorgate and Liverpool Street. If you know that it is the entrance to a secret underground lair eg the Ministry of Magick or Colonel K’s headquarters out of Dangermouse then please write in.

More reflections which I cannot remember where it is exactly. I was crazed with hunger at this point and desperate to find a pie shoppe.

A sneaky peek at the amazing Tower 42 which is coming up next, after these important messages from your local station.

The City

CityPoint, where I was chased away by security guards who told me it is illegal to take pictures of buildings. In that case I am going to jail for a very long time as you will see from this collecktion of photos.

Reflection of One Coleman Street in Moorhouse, where I was also chased away by security guards. Obviously it is one of those sekrit buildings and they do not want people taking photergraphs of it in case people find out it exists.

Moorhouse, remember it does not exist, so any pictures you might see of it are stricktly imaginary.

Reflection in the frontage of One Coleman Street. I like the way it has gone all warped, like something by Maurits Escher on weird drugs.

Whitecross Place, a shopping mall near Moorgate where I was also asked to leave by security guards. They said I might be a terrorist taking pictures of the CCTV cameras. I must say I would make an unconvincing terrorist, with my big SLR, anorak, and thermos of weak lemon drink. On the other hand that is exactly what a clever terrorist would want you to think. Aaah!

Randoms

Just some intresting picktures that do not lend themselves to categorisation really. This is a nice sky I saw at the Welsh Harp a while ago. I like to go wandering around the reservoir where there is a lot of birds to notice and many little nooks to investergate. I am quite good at investergation.

Me having a bad hair day.

Dirty old cash machine!

Some borderline sinister owls.

Palestra, an office building in Blackfriars Road.

An ordinary picture of Matt in the Landseer which accidentally captured his bestial id.

Ye Citie of Londonne

Come with me now on a photergraphic tour of Dickensian London, full of lovable tubercular scamps, ragamuffins, and wicked lawyers, actually that is what I would really like if I could invent a time machine, but I have not. So instead it is a tour of modern London and some of its intresting buildings if you like archie-tecture. I like it a lot.

More unrelenting greyness

Well it is a different day this time, as I spent a happy Sunday afternoon with k.s. wandering around near King’s Cross looking for a good time (do not laugh it is obvious what I meant). This is in Tavistock Square where a tiny man is being terrified by a giant statue of Gandhi. Or could it be the magic that we call perspecktive.

Outside King’s Crustacean, a time-honoured symbol which to all British people means the comforting familiarity of delayed trains, badly maintained track, and signals passed at danger. Still our love affair with railways continues, especially me which still gets excited about going somewhere on a train. I think the secret of happiness is probably having quite a low excitemint threshold.

Some intresting tiles outside the station. I dare say many curious visitors’ first impression of London was a frightening looking bearded man inexplicably taking photergraphs of a blank wall.

This is more like it the amazing Midland Grand Hotel at St Pancreas, a bonkers neo-Gothic wedding cake fantasy by George Gilbert Scott, who is one of my top favourite archie-tects of all time (not to be confused with Giles Gilbert Scott who designed the red phone box and Battersea Power Station, which are also pretty terrific). I would love to go inside as I am fascinated with it, especially as it was featured in Douglas Adams’s The Long Dark Teatime of the Soul where it is a mysterious gateway to another… well you’ll have to read the book. It is posh flats now.

The perfect complement to Gilbert Scott’s obsessive-compulsive eclecticism, Camden Town Hall looks like some type of futuristic concrete pod that has been dropped from space. Inside is the gigantic computer that rules the universe. Or just Camden.

This was taken by kindred spirit in fact, but I like it so include it here in the hope that some people will not read the small print and erroneously attribute credit to me for the good photergraphy. It is round the back of the Town Hall.

Tavistock Square is rubbish, it is not though, it is really nice. There is a peaceful park with trees and Gandhi, and some pidgeons that possibly are up to something, you can never tell with pidgeons. Unfortunately some people were blown up there in a bus, which just underlines the point that Gandhi was making really.

On the way home there was some replacemint buses at East Finchley, I think it is due to Finchley Central being fitted with ornate Louis XV furniture, shag-pile carpets and gold taps in the lavvies. Still it gave me the opportunity to take this nice picture of the railway bridge.

The famous Archer at East Finchley, by Eric Aumonier. It is symbolick of the fact that we are on the edge of the ancient Royal Forest of Enfield where Henry VIII used to hunt down and kill stags, or insufficiently fertile wives. Alternatively if someone tries to get on the Tube without buying a ticket some antique machinery rumbles into life and the Archer fires a massive steel bolt through their surprised face. Either way do not try it.

Rhapsody in Black

It is more photos basically from my big day out with kindred photergraphy spirit, yes I ate’nt dead, I have just been in darkest Hampshire exploring and discovering tigers! More news on that later but here is some intresting pictures of grey things.

St Paul's Cathedral

It is one of those things which is so familiar that no one really notices what an absolutely amazing building it is. The dome alone weighs 65,000 tons and Wren was assisted in the design by his great friend, and my particular hero, Robert Hooke. In fact while it was being built Wren and Hooke used it as an astronomical observatory. It is not widely known, except by me, that the Monument (designed by Hooke) is actually a telescope. This is genuinely true and a scientific fackt.

London be my grey and concrete mistress

Well I have been having some amazing adventures, but there is not time to tell you about them all, so they will have to remain among my apocrypha like Sherlock Holmes and the case of the giant Sumatran rat. I did go out for a super photergraphic expedition yesterday in London so here are some of the pictures. My technique of learning photergraphy is just to copy people that I think are good, so I have copied kindred spirit who does beautiful black and white photergraphy, and tried to be exactly like her. In photergraphy I mean. Not in a scary way.

keithlard and Miss Bunn's mini adventure

We had a grand day wandering hither, thither and whither all around this fair city, and had some ice creams, Keithlard got scared by some living statues (he does not like them), had posh drinks and went on a boat! It does not get any better than that really.

St Paul’s obviously which is staggeringly beautiful, and almost worth having most of London accidentally burnt down by a drunk baker. The weather looked a bit iffy at first but it soon turned into a lovely sunny day!

Miss Bunn had a posh multi coloured drink! Keithlard drank some too and pronounced it delicious!

A nice building we saw. I do not know what it is so if you do, write in. You could win a trip for two to premier South-West holiday destination Cricket St. Thomas, near Chard! (You will not though.) Edit: I have discovered it is Unilever House thanks to my own investergatory powers (© Keithlard Investergations, Ltd.)

An intresting drink that Keithlard had. I like that it has ‘DRINK’ written on the side of it in case you get confused or forgetful.

I like this sinister door, in a spooky old alleyway near some dungeons.

A boat yesterday (library pictures). This is not the one we went on which is a super fast catamaran made of NASA space materials. It was a bit confusing as first of all we were ordered off Bankside Pier by some cross policemen, then allowed back on again, then ordered on to the boat, then ordered off it again, then ordered back on it again. This is an anti-terrorist measure to confuse Al-Qaeda people and send them to Woolwich by mistake.

We travelled to historick maritime Greenwich on our own personal space boat and looked at some intresting mad shops. This is something I found in one of them which might be quite useful in fact.

More silly things that we giggled over in shops. Then we went to a really nice pub after looking all around for one that had a cigarette garden. It is the type of place that my hero Robert Hooke might have popped into for a refreshing pint after a hard day’s science experiminting, except he probably would not have played on the Fantasy Golf machine.

And so home after quite a few glasses of quite a few drinks, via London’s Canary Wharf. This is all done with the new little wizzo camera (Coolpix 7900) courtesy of Mike. It is a great bit of kit and extra tiny, also if you are wobbling a bit it lights up with a flashing ‘pint of beer’ symbol to indicate that you have drunk too much Hoegaarden to take good pictures. It was a magic day out though so huzzah!