Modern lifestyle busy. No time. Communication reduced to 140-character blipverts. Follow @keithlard on Twitter.
- “Fed up with reading the news as it is always gloom, misery and disaster. Is there a newspaper featuring bunnies? Or just a big smiley face.”
- “So, should I get a Lotus Elan S2 Turbo convertible in British Racing Green, or a girlfriend? I’ve a feeling it’s one or the other”
- “The Avalanches are like the cheerful Portishead”
- “Worried, had the hottest south indian curry and it seemed mild. What am I becoming.”
- “Everyone at the party looked a bit blank when I talked about click-through ratios, PPC and AdSense. One person thought I said ‘absinthe’”
- “Invented a new game I like to call ‘Belgian Roulette’!”
- “Each person takes it in turn to choose a beer, and then everyone drinks one of those beers. Like an alcoholic book group.”
- “How disappointing was “Jaguar Adventure”. Man I thought he was going on an adventure with a Jaguar car. Instead it is about some animals.”
- “It would be pretty awesome if I was a top weapons designer and international playboy, with a hott redhead assistant. And could fly”
- “Working on Cribbage Corner a bit more. Man that is an obsessive compendium of information about a very obscure card game.”
- “Fajitas: marinade cubed meat in tomato passata, black pepper and chilli powder. Cook, add stir fried sweet peppers and serve in tortillas”
- “The nice man in Kris Wines gave us free Duvel glasses! It is London’s best beer shop. Not just because of that. http://twurl.nl/mjkikm”
- “Bush: Iraq words like “bring ‘em on” and “dead or alive” may have misled people to think I’m not a man of peace. http://twurl.nl/6owted”
- “Planet keithlard is dying. Too hot to do anything but stay in a darkened room listening to M83. Fab new album”
- “Ate too many lambs, washed down with tasty McEwan’s Champion. It is traditional barbecue overeating, so do not offer me a waffer-thin mint”
- “British summer algorithm: IF weather = “sunny” THEN GOTO barbecue ELSE complain(“Can you believe this terrible weather?”) END”
- “Wearing shorts, a MacBook in a laptop rucksack, and a black T-shirt proclaiming my affiliation to a cult web comic. Geek, much?”
- “Risotto: fry mushrooms, leek, garlic, beef, herbs, in olive oil, stir in arborio rice, gradually add white wine & chicken stock as absorbed”
- “When buying DVD box sets, be sure not to mix up ‘The Complete Jericho’ with ‘The Complete Jethro’”
- “Finished guardian xword in 10 mins. PERSONAL LIFE BEST. Celebrating with a beer and a Lost.”
- “Pairing socks. I quite like it actually. I am creating tiny pockets of negative sock entropy.”
- “Hottest chicks off of TV’s ‘The Wire’. Russell. Pearlman. Greggs. Man I ain’t mind gettin’ me some hott police right now. Knowm sayn.”
- “Playing with R. I have done a least squares regression! And a posh graph. It is more fun than Eurovision, though I do not know what that is”
- “New toaster! A basic one since I do not need the advanced functions such as… you know… making… NINJA toast. (You can get those.)”
- “The nice thing about chatting up Austrian girls is they do not know when you have accidentally compared them to a Terminator.”
- “Affiliating and monetising! That is an exaggeration in fact as I have not made any actual monety up to this point. I have typed a lot though”
- “Scrambled eggs: fry chopped chorizo and black pepper in smoking hot butter, add whisked eggs, stir lightly until almost set, serve on toast”
- “Me: Patrick O’Brian’s “Desolation Island”. Tube neighbour: the Qur’an. Everyone else: Metro.”
- “Wearing a stripey black & yellow Cornish rugby top. I look like a massive friendly bee! That eats crisps.”
- “Due to a chain of circumstances I don’t feel the need to go into, I now have lavender scented pants!”
- “‘Ostracise’: the new fitness craze that’s sweeping Britain. It is basically like dancercise, or boxercise, only with an ostrich.”
