Monthly archive

Haven’t you got better things to do?

More what you missed on Twitter

Modern lifestyle busy. No time. Communication reduced to 140-character blipverts. Follow @keithlard on Twitter.

  • Fed up with reading the news as it is always gloom, misery and disaster. Is there a newspaper featuring bunnies? Or just a big smiley face.”
  • So, should I get a Lotus Elan S2 Turbo convertible in British Racing Green, or a girlfriend? I’ve a feeling it’s one or the other”
  • The Avalanches are like the cheerful Portishead”
  • Worried, had the hottest south indian curry and it seemed mild. What am I becoming.”
  • Everyone at the party looked a bit blank when I talked about click-through ratios, PPC and AdSense. One person thought I said ‘absinthe’”
  • Invented a new game I like to call ‘Belgian Roulette’!”
  • Each person takes it in turn to choose a beer, and then everyone drinks one of those beers. Like an alcoholic book group.”
  • How disappointing was “Jaguar Adventure”. Man I thought he was going on an adventure with a Jaguar car. Instead it is about some animals.”
  • It would be pretty awesome if I was a top weapons designer and international playboy, with a hott redhead assistant. And could fly”
  • Working on Cribbage Corner a bit more. Man that is an obsessive compendium of information about a very obscure card game.”
  • Fajitas: marinade cubed meat in tomato passata, black pepper and chilli powder. Cook, add stir fried sweet peppers and serve in tortillas”
  • The nice man in Kris Wines gave us free Duvel glasses! It is London’s best beer shop. Not just because of that.
  • Bush: Iraq words like “bring ‘em on” and “dead or alive” may have misled people to think I’m not a man of peace.
  • Planet keithlard is dying. Too hot to do anything but stay in a darkened room listening to M83. Fab new album”
  • Ate too many lambs, washed down with tasty McEwan’s Champion. It is traditional barbecue overeating, so do not offer me a waffer-thin mint”
  • British summer algorithm: IF weather = “sunny” THEN GOTO barbecue ELSE complain(“Can you believe this terrible weather?”) END
  • Wearing shorts, a MacBook in a laptop rucksack, and a black T-shirt proclaiming my affiliation to a cult web comic. Geek, much?”
  • Risotto: fry mushrooms, leek, garlic, beef, herbs, in olive oil, stir in arborio rice, gradually add white wine & chicken stock as absorbed”
  • When buying DVD box sets, be sure not to mix up ‘The Complete Jericho’ with ‘The Complete Jethro’”
  • Finished guardian xword in 10 mins. PERSONAL LIFE BEST. Celebrating with a beer and a Lost.”
  • Pairing socks. I quite like it actually. I am creating tiny pockets of negative sock entropy.”
  • Hottest chicks off of TV’s ‘The Wire’. Russell. Pearlman. Greggs. Man I ain’t mind gettin’ me some hott police right now. Knowm sayn.”
  • Playing with R. I have done a least squares regression! And a posh graph. It is more fun than Eurovision, though I do not know what that is”
  • New toaster! A basic one since I do not need the advanced functions such as… you know… making… NINJA toast. (You can get those.)”
  • The nice thing about chatting up Austrian girls is they do not know when you have accidentally compared them to a Terminator.”
  • Affiliating and monetising! That is an exaggeration in fact as I have not made any actual monety up to this point. I have typed a lot though”
  • Scrambled eggs: fry chopped chorizo and black pepper in smoking hot butter, add whisked eggs, stir lightly until almost set, serve on toast”
  • Me: Patrick O’Brian’s “Desolation Island”. Tube neighbour: the Qur’an. Everyone else: Metro.”
  • Wearing a stripey black & yellow Cornish rugby top. I look like a massive friendly bee! That eats crisps.”
  • Due to a chain of circumstances I don’t feel the need to go into, I now have lavender scented pants!”
  • ‘Ostracise’: the new fitness craze that’s sweeping Britain. It is basically like dancercise, or boxercise, only with an ostrich.”